12 Conversations for Couples Experiencing Health Challenges
Commitment is a precious gift that we give to one another. It sustains us in the face of reality when our plans, hopes, and goals are changed when circumstances arise that are beyond our control. Those realities become our life and shape who we are and who we become.
When an illness comes into our lives, it is like a silent partner joining our relationship. Learning to live well with this silent partner and incorporate the illness into the fabric of daily life is an important task. This is the art of weaving our hearts together as we face difficulties side by side.
We have opportunities to build an even stronger relationship as we adapt to illness. Our stories are a witness of our love in which we reframe illness as a challenge, not a deficit. Embracing one another’s stories through mentoring is a privilege that shines light on the path for each other.
Mentoring brings hope and encouragement for your journey. Share your story. Share strength, warmth, and compassion with one another through these 12 Conversations for Couples Experiencing Health Challenges.
Conversation 1: Thankfulness
Conversation 2: Healthy Relationship Habits
Conversation 3: Making Our Life Together
Conversation 4: Recreation and Playfulness
Conversation 5: Finances
Conversation 6: Communication
Conversation 7: Problem Solving
Conversation 8: Balancing Acts
Conversation 9: Children and Families
Conversation 10: Friendship, Closeness, and Intimacy
Conversation 11: Planning for Our Future
Conversation 12: Celebrations
Sample Conversation
Conversation 1 – Thankfulness
From Couples . . .
“He gives me a sense of security. I love it when he shows me he has been thinking of me.”
“She keeps things interesting in our relationship. Our personality differences keep a variety of activities in our lives.”
Questions for Couple Sharing
- How did you meet one another?
- What was it that attracted you to each other?
- What are some special stories about your early beginnings as a couple?
- What couples have been good examples for you of successful marriage? What have you liked about their relationships?
- How is your life better because of your love and relationship?
- What are some traits of your spouse for which you are thankful?
- What compliments do you give to one another?
- How are you different from one another? How do these differences provide strength in your marriage relationship?
- What health workshops or marriage seminars have you attended?
- Can you think of any ways your illness has positively affected your relationship?
A Step Beyond the Mentoring Conversation
Do something each day to express love, appreciation, or gratitude to each other. Notice what you do that seems meaningful or gives pleasure to each other. Give love in the way that your spouse likes to be loved. Different languages of love include: notes, talking, gifts, quality time, acts of kindness or service, words of affirmation, compliments, email, bragging on your spouse to others, playfulness, hugs, kisses, and touch. What are your spouse’s preferences? What are your preferences? Talk about your similarities and differences. From the list above try to guess what his or her top two love languages are.
